Five Things That Never Happened to Alex Cabot
by sciencekitty
Summary: Five things that could have happened to Alex.


**One.**

There's a flash out of the corner of her eye. Three loud bangs. Screaming.

The next thing she knows, Alex can feel the cold of the concrete sidewalk seeping through her clothes. Then there's movement and Olivia is at her side, pressing down on her shoulder hard.

_Christ, Detective, that hurts. _

She's so focused on the fact that Olivia is crying that it takes her a few moments to realize that her shoulder hurts because she's bleeding and that the bleeding means that she's been shot.

Alex tries to move her hand so that she can reach up to her lover's face and wipe the tears away.

_It's okay, Liv. Don't cry. I'll be okay. _

Only Alex can't move and Olivia can't seem to hear her and everything is getting _so cold_.

"It's okay, Alex. It's okay. Stay with me. Look at me sweetheart. Stay with me, Alex. Alex. Alex."

She tries to focus on what Olivia is saying, she really does, but she's suddenly feeling warm again and she's curious about the bright light she sees forming over the brunette's shoulder. The light gets bigger as Olivia swears, cursing traffic and Velez and God.

Alex feels herself slowly float away from the whole scene, watching as Olivia presses her fingers against the blonde's neck, checking for a pulse. The brunette's face goes white and she collapses on top of Alex's body in tears, where she stays until Elliot reappears and falls to his knees beside his partner. He gives her a few moments and then gently pulls her toward him, gathering her into his arms.

"She's gone, Liv," he murmurs softly as she cries into his chest, "Let her go."

Alex watches from above as Elliot rubs her lover's back and drops a kiss on the top of her head. She then turns away and reaches for the hand beckoning her further into the light.

_I'm so sorry, Liv. _

**Two.**

"Mommy! Did you see what I did, did you see?"

The little girl runs across the playground toward Alex, grinning as the cold autumn air whips her long blonde hair around her face.

"I made it all the way across the monkey bars and Momma didn't even have to help me or anything!" she exclaims, not waiting for an answer. She hops to a stop in front of the bench Alex is sitting on and giggles when she's spun around and pulled into a big hug.

"I saw, sweetheart. You're _very_ brave!"

"Brave?"

"Yes, brave. When I was your age, I was too afraid to go all the way across."

Her daughter turns around to look at her with wide eyes. It never occurred to her that either of her parents could be afraid of anything.

"You were too afraid to climb on the monkey bars?"

Alex nods and pulls the girl close. She looks over her daughter's head as Olivia walks toward the pair at a leisurely pace, grinning at the scene before her.

"Do me a favor though and don't tell Momma, okay? She'll tease me."

The little girl laughs and nods, pulling her hand across her closed lips in the quintessential _my lips are zipped_ motion as Olivia makes it the bench and sits down next to them.

"So," she inquires brightly, "Can I interest either of my girls in some lunch?"

"And hot chocolate?" their daughter asks hopefully as Olivia reaches over and tucks a strand of Alex's hair behind her ear, letting her hand rest against the blonde's cheek for a moment.

"And hot chocolate," Alex confirms with a grin.

**Three**

Alex gets up with the sunrise and sneaks out of bed, careful not to wake the beautiful redhead beside her. She tiptoes down the stairs and just finishes preparing her planned breakfast of pancakes, eggs and sausage when her girlfriend pads into the kitchen in her bare feet, yawning.

"That's attractive," Alex teases affectionately. She expects a laugh in return, or maybe a loving swat on the shoulder, but Jill drops into a kitchen chair and huffs, "it's Saturday."

"It most definitely is," Alex confirms with a grin, covering the food and sitting across the table, "do you want coffee or tea?"

Cranky green eyes regard her suspiciously, "I want to know why we're up so fucking early."

Alex rolls her eyes. "I thought I'd make us breakfast. You said yourself, we never eat together anymore and you're usually awake a lot earlier than this for work. What's going on?"

Jill drops her gaze and studies the tablecloth intensely.

Alex opens her mouth, but before she can get a word in, her girlfriend beats her to it.

"Liz," she asks carefully, "who's Olivia?"

Everything stops. Alex closes her eyes and breathes deeply, counting to herself until her heart stops trying to escape from her chest and the lump in her throat slowly dissolves.

"Liz?"

When Alex opens her eyes, Jill looks sad.

"You were talking in your sleep again last night, thrashing around. I've gotten used to that, but this time you kept calling that name. You were frantic, honey," Jill takes Alex's hands in her own and looks at her pleadingly, "why won't you tell me what happened to you?"

Alex's throat is dry and she pulls away before she can help herself. She jumps to her feet and starts placing breakfast items on the table, pouring coffee into two mugs and then rummaging through the refrigerator for syrup. Anything to keep from falling apart.

"Liz," she hears Jill's chair being pushed back from the table, and then the sound of footsteps before her girlfriend's hands are on her hips, gently pulling her away from the refrigerator and turning her around.

"Please," the redhead places her hands on Alex's shoulders, making eye contact and holding the other woman's gaze, "let me in."

Alex falters. She's tired of lying, tired of pretending and tired of being terrified every time she steps outside. Eight years after being ripped from her life, she weighs and pros and cons and then comes to a conclusion.

_Screw it. What's the worst that could happen?_

She finally nods and Jill looks encouraged.

Wordlessly, they sit at the table again and Jill waits patiently as Alex gathers her courage.

She reaches for her girlfriend's hand and licks her lips, feeling an immense weight lift from her shoulders.

" My name….it's not Elizabeth."

**Four**

Alex finds out the hard way that there's an equivalent to SVU everywhere, even in the middle of bumfuck Pennsylvania.

She's found naked and wrapped in a blanket, an early Sunday morning surprise for a young supermarket employee who gets stuck taking the trash out to the dumpster behind the store. Alex is lucid enough to realize that a man is crouched beside her and panics, aiming a well-placed kick to his knee that sends him toppling backward away from her. She tries to stand, but fails when a sharp pain in her ribs has her collapsing back onto the ground.

"Whoa, whoa, hey!" the young man exclaims, holding his hands out toward her. Whether the gesture is meant to protect himself or reassure her, Alex isn't sure, but the kindness in his voice catches her off guard.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he says earnestly, "I promise. You don't move, I think you have a broken rib. I'm going to go get help."

She must look suspicious, because he explains himself. "I'm studying to be a doctor. I work here to put myself through school."

Her instincts tell her to trust him and she nods, causing him to run off and return with reinforcements and a phone.

Later, at the nearest hospital, Alex is poked and prodded while they patch her up and gather their evidence. She sits with the sketch artist, impressing him with the amount of detail she's able to give. Just when she thinks it's over they insist on letting the police talk to her while everything is still fresh in her mind.

The female detective that takes her statement has haunted dark eyes that make Alex's breath catch in her throat, and when the woman asks if she can call anyone it's all Alex can do to stop herself from muttering Olivia's name. Instead, she shakes her head. Julie Huffington has only been in this tiny suburb for two months and has no one.

When she'd been grabbed on her way into the grocery store by a couple of men and stuffed her into the back of a nondescript white van, she'd assumed that Velez's men had finally found her, that she was as good as dead. For all the worrying she had done about how she would eventually die by the hand of the Colombian drug cartel, it had never occurred to her that she would be the unwitting victim of a couple of run of the mill idiot criminals.

The cruel irony of the situation doesn't escape her.

**Five**

When Alex is finally released from the program, she can't get to Olivia fast enough. Once back in New York, she makes her way to the 1-6, certain that it's the best place to find the detective, even at 6 pm on a Friday night.

She walks through the front door just behind a tall blonde woman who is holding a giggling dark haired little boy upside down in her arms.

"You _always_ want pizza," the woman pretends to whine, "let's see what Mommy wants, okay?"

Alex watches him as he shakes his head, a silly grin on his face. "Pizza! Pizza!"

Alex smiles to herself, idly wondering who in the precinct the little boy belongs to. She expects the woman to turn off from her own path, but instead, she continues ahead and walks right into the squadroom.

"Delivery for a Ms. Olivia Benson!" the blonde woman announces loudly, causing the little boy to squeal and laugh.

The statement causes Alex to stop in her tracks. Her heart sinks and she immediately turns to leave. If the little boy is Olivia's, then the blonde must be her partner, and _God_, she's not ready to watch Olivia be happy with someone else.

She's only taken two steps when she hears her name being called about five seconds before she's wrapped in a bone-crushing hug.

When she's finally released, Alex finds herself staring into Olivia's smiling face.

"Alex," the brunette says again, "what are you doing here? Are you back?"

Olivia doesn't wait for an answer before turning back toward the tall blonde who now has the little boy hanging over her shoulder, tickling him as he tries to escape.

"Rachel, come over here! This is Alex!"

The blonde carefully sets the little boy on his feet and holds tight as he rights himself, then lets go so he can run to Olivia and wraps his arms around her legs.

"He says he wants pizza again," the blonde shrugs apologetically as she approaches, "I don't know what to do with him."

Olivia laughs and sweeps the little boy into her arms.

"Alex," Olivia introduces, "this is Rachel, my –"

Alex's head supplies the last word for the detective.

_Lover._

_Girlfriend._

_Wife._

_Soulmate._

" – neighbor."

"Neighbor," Alex repeats, unable to help herself. She feels her insides slowly start to unwind themselves, "she's your neighbor?"

If either of the other women notice anything odd about Alex's reaction, they don't show it.

Rachel extends a hand. "The famous Alex Cabot," she says slyly, winking at Olivia, "it's great to finally meet you. I've heard so much about you I feel like we've been friends for years!"

Alex looks at Olivia, surprise written all over her face.

"You talk about me?"

Rachel snorts.

"Nonstop. Since I started watching this little monster," she points to the little boy with a grin, "that's all I've ever heard. _Alex this_ and _Alex that_ and _Alex would have nailed that guy's ass to the wall_ and _Alex_ _is phenomenal in _- ow!"

She rubs at the mark left on her arm from Olivia's sharp elbow and glares at her friend, who clears her throat and points down at the little ears listening intently below.

Alex watches the detective, amused. If she wasn't mistaken, that was a blush flushing Olivia's cheeks.

"Anyway," Rachel says, "it was great to meet you, Alex. I'm going to get going and leave you two to catch up."

She reaches down and ruffles the little boy's hair. "Bye, monster! See you Monday, ok?"

"Bye!" he shouts, waving enthusiastically and causing the other two women to come out of their reverie and say their goodbyes to the smiling blonde.

"Mommy, can we get pizza now?"

Olivia must suddenly realize that she still hasn't introduced Alex to her son, because she kneels down to his level and smiles.

"We can definitely get pizza, baby. But first, I want you to meet Alex. She's a friend of mine from a long time ago."

He cocks his head to the side and sighs. "I know Mommy. She used to be a lawyer and she worked with you and Elliot Mr. Munch and Mr. Fin."

He looks up at Alex and waves a little.

"Hi, Alex, I'm Jake. My mommy missed you a lot. Do you like pizza?"

Alex laughs, instantly charmed.

"I love pizza."


End file.
